NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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