this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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