just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
