Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
