we have officially lost it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
