He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
