You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
