I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
