I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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