Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
