Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
