and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
