weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
