Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
