problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize