Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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