Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
