This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This toilet bowl is my home.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
