AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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