doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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