He asked to "fluff my boner.."
kristin has been a bad kristin
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
