Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
