OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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