sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
