chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
