i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
