so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
