im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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