She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Holy shit dude........stairs
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
