Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
