When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
