is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
