Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
