Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You may now shotgun with the bride
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
