i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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