i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
