where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
