just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
