We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
