ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Randomize
