i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
40s are totally the cure
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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