I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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