hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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