If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
