evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
