Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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