On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
