did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
