Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
