out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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