so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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