she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
