well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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