Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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